All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. }; My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking. for(var i=0; i The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", 383 talking about this. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Life is a zero sum game. George Carlin, 36. var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.You have no choice. Tax them. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Source; . Its important in life if you dont give a shit. Others see it half empty.I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be.George Carlin, Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Topics. return null; 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! } else { The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Theres no present. The planet is fine. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. The table is tilted, folks. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. the important thing is to, first of all, question everything you read or hear or see or are told. This is the best we can do folks. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. - George Carlin profile quotes. q("f", arguments) Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? var node = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; Hes not a cheese. Were so self-important. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. Religion class was always an easy class. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? He was an American standup comedian. And fight songs. //]]>. George Carlin. We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Men are often so foolish as to boast and value themselves upon their passions, even those that are most vicious. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. 4. But he loves you. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. How are YOU going to tackle today? Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? People are wonderful one at a time. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. Theres no present. " George Carlin Quotes "Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. Use your fucking heads! Born: May 12, 1937. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. Aw, hes a comedian. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. #privileges. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. }); Because theres no money in that problem. How is it possible to have a civil war?George Carlin, When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? its only a symbol. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("gr_author", "false"); You have no choice. This is what we have to offer. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. I think every day all children should have 3 hours of daydreaming. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. Property is theft. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." George Carlin "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." George Carlin "Never argue with an idiot. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? It will not be with jack-boots. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; George Carlin "The planet is fine. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. . They own, and control the corporations. Well, its Gods will. Thy Will Be Done. Fine, but if its Gods will, and Hes going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. You have no choice. Period. George Carlin. function q(c, r) { Lets get started! May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. Nobody seems to care. Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. This is the best we can do folks. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Everything He ever makesdies.George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. Quotes. Its never just a game when youre winning. 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